


Everything I Thought I'd Ever Love

by pitch_playbook



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitch_playbook/pseuds/pitch_playbook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chloe has everything she thought she'd ever want and love, she's married to Beca and has two beautiful children, but is it really what she wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Everything I Thought I'd Ever Love**

**Disclaimer: The following is a work of fan-fiction. I claim no ownership over the characters therein. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 1**

"Jesus Beca, can you get up, she's been screaming for 5 minutes and some of us actually have to get up early in the morning," Chloe spat at her wife.

"Sorry, I thought you were going tonight. It's probably just another nightmare. I'll calm her down."

Beca cradled the small, 3 year old girl in her arms, rubbing her back and soothing her back to sleep. Erin had been waking almost nightly for the last few weeks, much to her mothers' chagrin. As precious as sleep was to Beca though, Erin was even more so and as much as she hated the disrupted sleep, she cherished any moment she could spend with her. Beca had never wanted children until Chloe convinced her otherwise, and she was so glad she did. Erin and her 1 year old brother Eli meant the world to Beca, and while she wished for a little more shut eye, she wouldn't trade this life for anything.

"Maybe we can ask the pediatrician about the nightmares," Beca suggested the next morning as her wife walked into the kitchen.

"Whatever. Anything to get her to stop screaming, it's bad enough to have to work at 7 am, its only made worse when you can't get a bit of decent sleep," Chloe scoffed.

"I'm sure she'll settle down soon, it's probably just a phase. I just wish she could verbalize what is troubling her, I'm worried about her."

Chloe just rolled her eyes, not wanting to have this same conversation again.

"Who knows, all I know is it's a nightmare for me and it needs to stop, I hate this."

"I know, you're tired babe, but she'll be fine Chloe, we'll get help and she'll stop eventually," Beca had grown used to her wife's overreaction to well, everything.

"No. I don't mean just the nightmares, I mean everything. The not sleeping, the not watching anything not starring an obnoxious animated character, the not doing anything alone, ever. The…"

The red head was cut off before she could continue her list.

"Chloe stop, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I hate my life Beca, there I said it, are you happy now?" Chloe's tone was cold.

"Happy, of course I'm not happy. You basically just admitted that you hate your family, our life together. You hate everything you wanted," Beca's voice broke as the tears started flowing down her face.

"I can't do this anymore," was all Chloe could muster before she walked out of the kitchen, leaving the brunette broken hearted in her haste.

Before Beca could say anything else, Chloe had come back from the bedroom with a bag that Beca had no idea when the other woman had packed. She shut the front door without another word, and the brunette was too shocked to even attempt to follow her.

Chloe had just walked out on everything she ever thought she'd want and love, and sadly it had been a long time coming. She didn't love marriage the way the way she thought she would when she was in high school, dreaming of her perfect life. She didn't love motherhood the way she was so sure she would when she and Beca decided to have their first child. She didn't love anything she thought she would, she had been miserable for a while and walking out that door was the only way she saw to lift the weight of the world off her shoulders. She kept telling herself it would get better when she could go back to work, or it would get better when they got older and she could sleep. When she saw how happy Beca was all the time though, she knew she was kidding herself. She should love at least almost every minute of this, even with the sleep deprivation, or through the noise and she just wasn't. When she couldn't be bothered to play dolls with Erin the 4th time she asked in a week, she packed a bag and left it in the closet.

She walked a while before finally calling a taxi; she needed the time to figure out where she'd tell the taxi to go. Aubrey was always her go to, but she couldn't bring herself to call the blonde and tell her she'd just walked out on Beca and on her children. A motel on the outskirts of town that Chloe had passed one day when she took a wrong turn was the only place that she could think of, and within the hour she was throwing her bag on the floor and crying herself to sleep on the rickety bed. No matter how badly she wanted, she needed to do what she just did; she couldn't believe that she had. Eli would be crying for someone to get him by now, and Erin would be in need of breakfast before pre-school. Chloe turned off her cell phone and buried her face in the pillows.

"She left, left? Like for good?" Aubrey asked with an eyebrow raised. The blonde had arrived moments ago, after a desperate call from Beca at 6:37 am.

"Well she took a god damn bag, one she had already packed, all ready to go. Obviously this wasn't a spur of the moment decision," Beca was past tears and now she was just angry. Shouting at her friend wouldn't help, but it was all she could do right now.

"I can't believe she would leave you, or them. I mean I knew she'd been unhappy, but I didn't know she was up and leave your family unhappy. This would explain the 'I'm the worst mother in the world' text for a few nights ago though," Aubrey thought out loud.

"I can believe that she could leave me, I mean things haven't been great for a while, but her kids? The ones she so badly wanted to have. I thought she at least loved them," the tears were forming in Beca's eyes again.

"Oh Beca, she loves them, she does," Aubrey reassured the brunette.

"Not enough to stay," the pain and heartbreak registering clearly in Beca's voice.

"Mama, are you okay?" a tiny voice asked from the door way.

"Mama's just a little sad this morning, okay kiddo?" Aubrey picked up the little girl and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"What are you doing here Auntie Aubrey?" Erin asked innocently.

"Oh, I just love you two so much I came by to see you this morning before work. I missed you, I haven't seen you since last weekend at my condo," Aubrey lied, but knew it wasn't her place to tell Erin the real reason for her visit.

"Auntie Aubrey is probably going to stay with us for a little while, how does that sound?" Beca asked, managing to choke back her tears for the sake of her daughter.

"Fun!" the little red head squealed.

"Good and she's going to stay here with you and Eli today while mama goes to work," Beca leaned over to kiss her little girl on the head.

"Where's mommy though?" the innocent voice inquired.

"She has some things to take care of, Aubrey will take good care of you though, and she'll probably let you do her hair," Beca smirked at the blonde.

After getting her son up and dressed, Beca left her two precious kids in the capable hands of her wife's best friend and headed out to work. Aubrey had suggested she call in sick and take the day to process, but Beca wanted to take her mind off the head red who had just walked out of her life.

Once she returned back home she was pleasantly surprised to see dinner already on the table.

"Erin told me that penne with chicken is your favourite, so hopefully that information was accurate," Aubrey smiled at her friend still standing in the door way to the kitchen.

"Your sources are accurate, I love penne with chicken, especially when someone else makes it for me," Beca smirked.

Beca enjoyed a nice dinner with her kids and a friend she couldn't even begin to thank, and was relieved when they went down relatively quickly at bed time. For now they accepted the answer that mommy was busy; Beca wasn't quite sure how to tell such young children that she didn't know if their mother was ever coming back.

"Do you think she's ever coming back Aubrey?" Beca asked, as the blonde poured her a glass of wine.

"Can you forgive her for this if she does?" the blonde's question was brutally honest, but it was something that had been on her mind all day, even when she was trying to forget the morning's events.

"I guess that depends when she comes back, and whether or not her sorry ass has an explanation as to why she put us through this."

Beca didn't know if she could ever forgive the redhead, but she did know that she wanted her back. She was angry, but still in love. She didn't want to have to explain to those two sets of blue eyes why their mother didn't see fit to stick around. She loved them more than she ever imagined she would, and couldn't fathom why Chloe didn't feel the same. All that stuff Chloe spewed off about hating, Beca loved. If one of the kids awoke in the night, it meant Beca got a few more moments to cuddle them. If the kids were too loud, it was usually just because they were having so much fun. Beca lived to see them happy, and wished her partner felt the same. Her life was everything Chloe told her she'd love and more.

**6 Months Later**

"Ma-ma," Eli cooed, spit rolling down his chin. The blonde that he was drooling on looked almost as wide eyed as he did, shock coursing through her at the child's attempt at words.

Beca had stopped herself from kissing Aubrey on more than one occasion over the past few months, reminding herself that she was still married, even if her wife hadn't called in over 3 months. She and the woman who used to be just her wife's best friend had grown closer ever since that desperate morning call. Aubrey had only intended to stay with the brunette and her kids for a few weeks while they adjusted but never ended up leaving. The guest room had become more of a permanent home for her stuff, and every time she went to leave she had been given an excuse not to. Beca had a big promotion coming up at work and needed to work overtime to get it, Erin wanted dance lessons and Aubrey knew a lot about the subject, and quite frankly she really just didn't want to leave the kids. It had broken her heart that morning to hear her friend had left her children, hating to know what this would do to the kids she had grown to adore on weekends when she babysat. Hearing the boy call her this was a stinging reminder of both the heartbreak of those first few weeks and all the good times of the months that followed.

"I think he likes you," Beca smirked.

Her kids had grown to love Aubrey even more in the last few months, having to rely on her as a second parent. Beca never did figure out how to explain what had happened with Chloe and eventually Erin stopped asking as frequently. Eli couldn't speak yet but he cried less and less as the weeks and months without contact from the red head passed. Chloe called once, 3 months after she left to ask how they were. Beca informed her in as even a tone as possible that they were doing fine. She didn't have the energy or the desire at the time to open up the wounds and confront Chloe about what she did. Chloe couldn't bring herself to face when she had done again, and the phone never rang again.

Later that night as Aubrey sat next to her on the couch, watching some home improvement show or another, Beca was again overcome with desire to kiss the blonde. On that first day she thought she'd never get over Chloe, but today she wasn't sure she could resist the woman who had been there for her through it all. They were practically a couple already, raising the kids together, having family dinners, and even sleeping in the same bed whenever Beca was feeling particularly alone, or upset. She couldn't be sure that Aubrey reciprocated her feelings, but she felt good about placing a kiss on the blonde's lips, cutting off her tirade about how ridiculously ugly the chosen furniture was.

"Beca," Aubrey sputtered, pulling away from the kiss.

"What Aubrey? What? I'm tired of wasting time waiting to see if she'll come back. I want to spend my time now being with the person who tucks in my daughter every night and sings my son to sleep. The person who makes us all breakfast and makes sure we're ready for every day. I want to be with the person who cares about me, and loves my children more than anything. There's a reason Eli called you mama today, you are his. You're all he and Erin have known for the past 6 months, and you're what I want for me, for us. Aubrey I want this, and I know I have it, but I want you to know that you're what I want, you're what all of us need. We love you," she placed another kiss on the blonde's lips as she finished her speech, this time the blonde leaned in rather than drew away.

"Well good, because I love the three of you too, and I wasn't planning on leaving."

Beca was barely two sips into her celebratory glass of wine when she heard a knock on the door.

"Who the hell is at the door at this hour?" the blonde wondered out loud, as she walked to the front of the house.

Aubrey thought nothing of answering her friend's door, she had been doing it for months now and guests had gotten used to being greeted by the blonde's sweet smile.

"Umm Aubrey, hi," came a familiar voice when she finally pulled the door open.

"Chloe," the blonde said, visibly stunned.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," Aubrey's smile long since faded from her lips.

"This is still my house," the red head said curtly.

"Could have fooled me," Aubrey was done with this conversation, walking back towards the living room, leaving the door wide open.

"Beca?" Chloe called, still hesitant to walk into the place she once called home.

Beca was already walking to the front door, seeing Aubrey's annoyed expression had her curious.

"Chloe?" the brunette's expression was as stunned as her partner's.

"Beca, I honestly don't know how to explain myself," was all she could get out. The heartbreak was still evident in her wife's eyes, and it pulled at her heartstrings.

"Well you better find a way to start because you're letting the warm air out and I'm missing the kitchen reveal," Beca's tone was short, her earlier happiness gone completely.

Chloe just raised her eye brow at the words kitchen reveal; she had never known Beca to sit through a home renovation show, much less care about it.

"I'm sorry Beca, I'm sorry I walked out on you, I'm sorry I left you to raise Erin and Eli on your own, especially since you only agreed to have them because of me. I had everything I thought I'd ever love and I walked right out the door. I was frustrated and miserable and hated my life. I didn't want to feel that way, but I did. It was irresponsible, and beyond awful to leave though. What kind of horrible person leaves their children? I know you probably can't forgive me, but I'm back to be in your life, in their lives, if you'll let me."

"You're damn right I can't forgive you. I could move past you leaving me, and I have, but walking out on them? That I can't forgive. Do you know how many times I had to tell Erin that you were really busy, and I wasn't sure when you would be able to come back? I want a divorce Chloe that much I know. I can't be with someone who would do that to my children. I won't stop you from trying to be in their lives though, but you need to explain your absence to Erin," Beca finished and took a deep breath.

When she started she wasn't sure what she was going to say, but now that she said it she knew it was what she really wanted. Beca could never move past her issues with Chloe and go back to the way things used to be; too much damage had been done to their relationship to repair it. The kids though, she wouldn't stop them from seeing their mother. If Chloe had come back after all this time, Beca knew she had worked through her issues and was here because she wanted to be.

Beca motioned for Chloe to come in and walked back to the living room. Aubrey was now sitting with Eli in her lap. As she stood on the porch Beca could have sworn she heard him cry out, but she knew Aubrey would have the situation under control. Aubrey was stroking the boy's hair and telling him a story when the redhead noticed.

"I know I have no right to ask, but what has been going on here since I left?" the redhead questioned.

"No, you really don't. You decided to leave, and what we've been doing is trying to adjust and get by," Beca's anger was flaring up, she had invited the red head in to talk, but she wasn't sure if she was actually ready.

"I'll just go put him down and go to my room," Aubrey suggested, standing up.

"No, stay," Beca said, putting her hand on the blonde's leg as she sat down.

"Chloe you left, you left and I had no idea when or if you'd ever come back. Aubrey moved in to help with the kids temporarily, and its 6 months later and her condo is up for sale. At first I waited for you but eventually I stopped waiting for someone who didn't want me, and fell for someone who did. Like I said, I'm not going to stop you from seeing your children, because they are still your children, but things have changed a lot since you walked out that door, and they're never going back."

Chloe was at a loss for words, she expected Beca to be angry with her, livid even but to see that she had moved on, and with Aubrey hurt the red head more than she would ever dare express. She had messed up her own relationship and broken her family apart, and there was nothing she could do now to fix it. Sometimes we have to live with our mistakes and find a way to move on, even if it hurts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Beca had barely slept all night, tossing and turning for hours; thoughts and worries flowing through her mind like an avalanche. She had slept in Aubrey's bedroom with her, allowing Chloe to sleep in the master, not wanting to send the very upset red head out alone so late. She had agreed to talk about their situation in the morning, but that was all she could think about when she closed her eyes. She had told her wife that she wanted a divorce, that things could never go back but, when she really thought about it, was this really the best thing for her family. She really didn't think she could ever forgive Chloe, but what would she tell her daughter when she asked why mommy couldn't live at home anymore. Chloe left them, she left them by choice and that was all that Beca could think of when the red head came back, but she did come back. All Beca could think was that maybe she should at least hear her out, at least give her a chance to explain, and maybe give her another chance. Chloe had made a huge mistake but nobody's perfect; if Beca had never been forgiven for her mistakes, had never been given a second chance, she wouldn't be in this house with Aubrey and Chloe right now.

Beca felt an arm on her shoulder and rolled over to find blue eyes staring at her.

"You okay? I know you didn't sleep well, quite frankly I'm surprised you didn't fall off the bed."

"Aubrey," Beca started, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"What?"

"I, ummm, we, I…I have to talk to you, about last night," Beca managed to get out.

"I know," Aubrey gave a pained smile.

"She's back, and I know what I said last night, but I don't know if that's the best thing for the kids. I know they're already somewhat confused, but I can make it worse or I can try and make it better. I just don't know what to do, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. You know I…"

"I know you do," Aubrey cut her off, seeing the tears forming in the brunette's eyes she didn't want her to have to say it. "If you're asking me if you should go back to her and I tell you that you shouldn't, I'm saying it for selfish reasons. If I tell you that you should, I'm breaking my own heart. This is about the kids though and I can't tell you what I want, I need to tell you what I know is best for them. I want so badly to tell you that she doesn't deserve a second chance and I almost believe that, but I don't."

"Aubrey, I'm so sorry," Beca placed a kiss on the blonde's head, stroking her hair.

"I'm sorry too; because you and I both know that I can't be around if you're going to make things better with Chloe. It breaks my heart to know this is goodbye, but you know it has to be."

Aubrey and Beca just lay together, not wanting this moment to end because the end of this meant never having another moment like this.

"I'll call my real estate agent and pack my stuff," Aubrey said finally climbing out of bed.

"Do you want to take Erin and Eli to the park?" Beca asked, not adding the implied one last time.

She figured it would be easier to talk to Chloe if their kids weren't around. She wanted them awake and out of the house before Chloe got up. Erin would be excited to see her and she wanted the opportunity to talk before any of that happened.

"I would like that," the blonde smiled.

After Aubrey had left with the kids, Beca threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and knocked on her bedroom door.

"Chloe, can we talk?"

When Chloe opened the door she was already dressed, and by the look of her eyes had had a worse night's sleep than Beca herself.

"Good morning," the redhead yawned.

"Coffee?"

"That would be great actually."

The two women made their way silently to the kitchen. Beca figured it would make for a better conversation if both them had some caffeine in their systems first.

"Aubrey took the kids to the park," Beca informed the red head.

"Oh," she said evenly.

"She loves them you know, and she's been there for them this whole time," Beca started.

"You don't need to make me feel even more guilty than I already do you know, but I guess I deserve it."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty; I'm letting you know that your children were very well taken care of while you were gone. I know you walked out, but I also know you probably wondered, even if you didn't bother to call."

"I'm sorry I didn't call, I'm a horrible person. I just didn't know what would be worse to hear, that you were struggling and miserable without me, or that you were doing well."

"It's not that black and white Chloe. As much as Aubrey helped and made the adjustment easier on Erin and Eli, I was struggling and miserable without you. My wife and the mother of my children walked out and never looked back, there was no way for me to do well without you; I got by though."

"You love her, don't you?"

"This isn't about her; it's about us, and our children."

"You said you wanted a divorce, do you want me to call my parents' lawyer?"

"Do you want a divorce?" Beca asked the red head.

"Of course I don't, but I'm not in a position to ask for what I want. I left and I need to accept the consequences of that, even if that means losing you."

"Tell me what you want."

"I want to move back home. I want to hug my children again. I want you back, I want my family back. I want you to believe me when I say I'm sorry. I want to tell you how I've been seeing a counselor, and that I've been working through my issues. I want you to believe that I'm back because I want to be and that I'll never leave again. I want you to believe that I still love you, and that I never stopped loving them."

"I want to believe all of that too. I still can't forgive you Chloe, but I think we need to work on this. I think it's best for the kids if we try again."

"What about her?" the redhead asked, unsure if this was the right thing to say.

"Aubrey?"

"Yes. You didn't answer me earlier but I don't there's something there."

"Aubrey is a selfless, caring and wonderful person, and she just wants what's best for Eli and Erin. She'll do anything for them; including leave us alone so we can work things out," Beca had been fine throughout the conversation, but talking about Aubrey leaving broke her heart. She was confident this was the right thing for her family, but why did the right thing have to hurt so much.

"I'm such an idiot, I managed to destroy my relationship with my wife, my children and my best friend all in one moment," the redhead lamented, "sorry, I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just can't believe how badly I messed up. I never thought I'd be that person, the one who hurts everyone she loves."

"Yeah, well life is funny that way; you never know how it's going to turn out."

Just as she was pouring a third, or was it her fourth cup of coffee Beca felt a cold chill as the door opened, letting in the cool breeze.

"Mama, the park was so fun, I went on the big kid swings!" the little girl recounted, running into the kitchen with her shoes still on. She didn't notice the red head sitting at the table.

"You did, that's awesome," Beca said, ruffling the girl's bright red hair.

Aubrey rounded the corner a second later, still holding Eli in her arms. The red head at the table, the woman she once called her best friend offered her a small smile. Chloe didn't know exactly what went on in the last six months, but she knew Aubrey was giving up her own happiness so that she could have a second chance. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to thank the blonde for what she'd done for Beca, for her kids, for her.

Suddenly the little girl who was recalling her fun on the monkey bars noticed Chloe sitting at the table.

"Mommy, you're back!" her declaration was a mix of excitement and hesitation. She ran towards the red head, but stopped short of jumping into her lap.

Beca gave the older red head a nod to tell her it was okay to embrace her daughter. Chloe scooped the small girl up and ran her fingers through her hair, fighting back tears. She couldn't believe just months ago she had walked out the door on this, on her.

"Yeah baby, I am. I missed you, you know that right?"

Beca involuntarily cringed at Chloe's admission, she knew it was probably true but the anger in her with regards to her wife's actions was still there.

"I'm going to go now," Aubrey started, "my condo listing has been taken down, and I got John to cancel the open house next weekend."

Aubrey went to put Eli in Beca's arms when the small boy started to wail.

"Ma-ma, ma-ma," Eli cried.

Aubrey kissed the boy on the head, and turned toward the porch. Her tear filled eyes begged for Beca not to follow her with him. She needed to leave and every additional second she stayed, her heart broke a little bit more. She tried her best to ignore the toddler's cries, grabbed her bag and walked out the door. If she ever wondered what it was like for her best friend to walk out on her family, now she knew and she hoped the red head felt at least half as awful as this on that morning. She started her car, but only made it as far as the 7/11 parking lot down the street from the place she had called home for the last 6 months before she completely broke down. How doing the right thing could feel as bad as this did, Aubrey would never understand. The thought of never seeing Beca, Eli and Erin again hurt her more than any of her dad's tough love ever had. She was glad it was Saturday morning as it would give her the rest of the weekend to get herself together, hopefully enough that she could return to work on Monday and go back to normal, or at least what had been normal 6 months ago.

Beca bounced her son on her knee, hoping the usual technique would calm him down.

"It's okay buddy, it's okay," she cooed, stroking the young boy's hair.

Chloe sat across the table watching as her son cried for another woman, wondering if every day from here on out was going to be a constant, painful reminder of her own mistake.

"He'll be fine, I'm just going to go put him down for a nap okay, be right back," Beca said, mostly to reassure her daughter who was being uncharacteristically quiet, still sitting on Chloe's lap.

"Is Aubrey coming back?" she said finally.

"I don't think she is, she's going to move back to her home," Chloe said, unsure if this answer would satisfy the young girl. She could see that her son had become very attached to the blonde, but she wasn't sure what Erin's relationship with the woman had been like.

"But, I thought this was her home," the almost 4 year old said innocently. Chloe wasn't sure what to say to that, and was relieved when Beca walked back into the kitchen.

Beca picked her daughter up off of Chloe's lap and stood with her in her arms.

"Erin, I know I never really told you what was happening with mommy. She had to leave for a while, but now she's back and she's going to be living here with us again, okay. If you have any questions for either of us, you just ask okay, no matter what it is," Beca kissed her daughter on the head, and waited to see if the little girl would take her up on that offer.

"Does this mean we can read the train book again?"

Chloe used to read Erin this one book featuring trains as the main characters. She did all these different voices for the characters and it was one of Erin's favourites. Ever since Chloe left Beca never wanted to read this book. The memories had been too painful to confront, and besides she knew she'd do the voices terribly.

"Yes, how about tonight I'll read it to you and Eli before bed?" Chloe suggested, loving the smile this put on her daughter's face.

"That sounds good," Beca said. She was still so angry at her wife, and couldn't believe Aubrey wouldn't be there for her to talk to tonight, but it was moments like this that affirmed her belief that she was doing the right thing, even when it hurt.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Grilled cheese, just the way you like it," Chloe smiled as she placed the plate in front of her daughter.

Erin just stared at the sandwich and didn't move. She had been complaining to Chloe for 20 minutes about how hungry she was and now she wouldn't touch her lunch.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" the red head questioned small child.

"It's not right," she frowned.

"What's not right?" Beca asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Her sandwich is apparently not right," Chloe said, now sporting a frown that matched her daughter's.

"You cut it into squares," Beca started grabbing a knife, "she likes it cut into triangles now…that's how Aubrey used to do it for her," she added the last part hesitantly as she cut the square pieces into smaller triangles.

"I can't do anything right," Chloe sighed.

"Stop being a drama queen, kids change their preferences all the time, especially over the course of 6 months," Beca didn't mean for it to come out so bitterly, but she could tell by the hurt in Chloe's eyes that it had.

It had been two weeks since Chloe moved back in and Beca was still sleeping in the guest room, Aubrey's room. She knew Chloe moving back home would be easier for the kids to understand than visiting mommy at some cheap hotel, but she still couldn't bring herself to join Chloe in their bedroom. She wasn't ready for the talking until they fell asleep that they used to do, and the thought of lying there silently next to her was just as bad. Beca didn't have much to say anyway, their conversations these days were mostly about the kids. Chloe tried to tell her about her time away, and how she sought help, but would more often than not just stop when she could tell Beca was feigning interest. Beca just didn't know how to react to these confessions, I'm glad you don't hate us anymore, welcome home just didn't sound friendly enough in her mind.

"Sorry, I just, I missed so much and I'm really trying here Beca but everything is a reminder of what I did. Eli is so big now, and he's got so much hair. Erin has grown too, and she hates green now, she used to love green. She doesn't like to wear her hair up anymore either, and she seems to be going through a phase where she doesn't want to wear shoes."

Beca just laughed, "Yeah, that's been going on for a few weeks now. I had to bribe her with cookies to get her to wear some to dinner with my parents the other night. I don't know what you want me to tell you Chloe, you left and yeah you missed a lot. You can't change that but you can stop whining about it and get to know your children again. Your son cries every night because he misses her, but you know what, he did that for you for a while too, so be there for him and make him feel better, because you're his mom and you can do that. Erin's favourite colour changes almost daily, as does her favourite animal, her favourite food and what she does and does not like to wear, just go with it. She's easy, she'll let you know what's bothering her with very little prodding, all you have to do is ask. Erin asked me one night if you stopped loving her and I didn't know what to say, show her that you never did. They're still young, you have a chance to make the fact that you left a distant memory, but you need to stop dwelling on it and work on earning back their trust."

Chloe wiped a tear from her cheek and took a deep breath, "thank you for giving me another chance Beca."

"I did it for them."

"I know, but can we talk about us, please?"

"Not now, I uh, I have some errands to run," Beca stammered, not wanting to have this conversation. She wasn't ready to talk about their relationship. She had given Chloe a second chance for the kids, but she did have every intention of fixing her marriage she just didn't know where to start. She was still so angry and every time she thought of bringing the subject up, all she could think of as a starting point was,  _I hated you for leaving me_.

"What about tonight? We can put the kids to bed and have a real talk," Chloe suggested.

"Fine, tonight. I'll pick up something for dinner on my way home," Beca grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter and rushed out the door.

She drove around town aimlessly, not really having any errands to run. After 20 minutes, she found herself in a familiar place. It was the same parking lot she had found herself in 3 times already this week. Every other time she just sat before pulling out minutes later, but today she got out of the car.

"You shouldn't be here," Aubrey said as she opened the door to her condo.

"I know," the brunette replied as she shut the door to the condo behind her.

Aubrey grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard and started the coffee machine as Beca took a seat on one of the stools around the small island.

"How have you been?" Beca asked sheepishly, she felt ridiculous asking the woman whose heart she broke how she's been.

"Okay, work has been busy so I can usually keep my mind off of everything during the day," Aubrey started, "but when I come back here every night, alone instead of coming home, I remember that I miss you so bad it hurts."

"I'm so, so sorry Aubrey. I shouldn't have come here."

"Why, you don't want to see me?"

"No, because I want to see you so much it hurts me, every day. When I wake up and you're not there, it hurts. When I'm trying to fall asleep and you're not there to talk to, it hurts. When Eli cries every night because he wants you to tuck him in, it hurts. Everything about this hurts Aubrey, and I don't know how to make it stop."

Aubrey now just inches from the brunette's face leaned in and kissed her. Beca put her hands on the taller woman's face and kissed her back briefly, before pulling away.

"I can't do this Aubrey; I can't make a bad situation worse by doing that, no matter how much I want to. I'm sorry."

Aubrey pulled away, knowing that she shouldn't have done it, it was only going to make being alone again tonight that much worse.

"How are they?" she asked, pouring hot brown liquid into the two mugs in front of her.

"They're okay, adjusting, again. They miss you though. Erin won't wear her hair up anymore; she told me she only likes the way you do it so she just wears it down every day now. Eli still mostly just babbles, but I know he doesn't understand why you're not there. It breaks my heart in those moments, the moments that I know they miss you, the moments where I try and forget how much I do too."

"I miss them too, so so much. I miss getting up with them in the morning and trying to get them to play quietly while you slept. I miss the way Erin would scrunch up her nose at the very mention of broccoli, or how ticklish Eli is, and both of their laughs," Aubrey's eyes were now filled with tears.

Beca thought that seeing Aubrey would make her feel better, but it had only made her feel that much worse about what she had done to the other women. As heartbroken as she was and as much as she missed Aubrey, she had taken everything away from Aubrey. The kids she spent every minute outside of work taking care of for the last 6 months, she was now cut off from. By deciding to stay with Chloe, Beca had taken Aubrey's children away from her and she couldn't even begin to imagine what that felt like.

"I'm sorry," was all Beca could muster.

"I know."

"I should leave."

"Yeah."

Aubrey waited until she was sure Beca was off the floor to break down. Seeing Beca was simultaneously amazing, and painful. Aubrey had longed every day for the past few weeks to touch her, to kiss her, to talk to her, to know how Eli and Erin were, but getting all that made it that much worse to be alone, again.

Beca drove and drove, not wanting to go home just yet. She felt terrible, destroying Aubrey the way Chloe had destroyed her all those months ago. To make matters worse, Aubrey didn't have the good fortune to have a friend like her to get her through it. Chloe and Beca had been her closest friends and now they were the ones causing her immeasurable pain. Beca resolved not go to back there, not to disrupt her life any more than she already was. If she was going to give Chloe this second chance, she needed to commit. If she was going to justify all the pain, she needed to actually do what she had decided was the right thing. She needed to face Chloe and talk about what their future held. She needed to not visit Aubrey in the middle of the afternoon when she should be home with her family. She told herself she would only text the blonde from now on, and just to make sure she was okay. That way if Aubrey wanted to ignore her, she could. Beca picked up some pizza and breadsticks for dinner, and made her way home.

"Pizza!" Erin squealed as Beca walked through the door.

"Yes, pepperoni, mushrooms and bacon, your favourite," Beca informed the little girl. The truth is this was Aubrey's favourite pizza, and Erin liked it because the older woman did.

"How did your errands go?" Chloe asked, setting the table.

"Oh, fine," Beca lied, "how was your day, were these two on their best behaviour?" Beca said gesturing to the two small children, now seated across from her in a high chair and booster seat respectively.

"They were great, we had a lot of fun, didn't we Erin?"

"Yeah, we coloured pictures and played dolls," Erin filled her mother in.

"That sounds fun," Beca said truthfully, she loved playing dolls with Erin who always gave them crazy professions and had them working hard to get a promotion.

The family talked and laughed while they ate their pizza. Beca hadn't enjoyed herself like this in weeks; it was almost like old times, except better because Chloe was actually enjoying their company.

A few more hours of playing dolls, and a couple stories later and both kids were in bed, sleeping soundly.

"So?"

"So," Beca repeated.

"I told you what I wanted, now tell me what you want," Chloe said softly, "the truth," the red head added.

"The truth, you want the truth. The truth is I went to go see Aubrey this afternoon," Beca stopped after this revelation, expecting Chloe to say something but continued when the red head kept quiet.

"The truth is I want nothing more than to see her come through that door after work, for her to come home like she has every night for the past 6 months. The truth is I miss her and the truth is I hate you for putting me in this position," the red head's face was expressionless as Beca said this, listening intently and allowing her to get it all out.

"That said, I want to stop hating you, hating you for walking out on me, on our family and for making me hurt her. I want to actually listen to you when you talk about how you were feeling, because you must have been hurting for a long time and I ignored it. I want you know that I know that it takes two people to both mess up and fix a relationship, and I need to make an effort too, and that I will. I said we couldn't go back to how we were before and we can't and I don't want us to. I want us to have a better relationship and a stronger family."

Chloe finally spoke when she was sure Beca was finished, "I'm sorry I left, and I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I made you hate me, and I will keep trying to make up for it as long as you let me. I want us to have a better relationship and a stronger family too. I'm also not going to tell you to not see Aubrey either, I have no right, she helped you through so much. You know what you can handle."

Chloe placed a kiss on the brunette's head and smiled when she didn't immediately recoil.

"You want to watch a movie?" Beca asked.

Watching a movie had always been Beca's peace offering, whenever they would fight she would put on a movie and hope Chloe would sit down and cuddle.

"Yeah, I'd like that," the red head responded.

Chloe sat on the opposite end of the couch, not wanting to push anything but she knew it was a good sign that Beca wanted to stay with her tonight. The brunette had taken to leaving for the guest room every night shortly after putting the kids in bed. Beca even picked out one of the cheesy rom-coms Chloe was partial to. They sat mostly in silence, but Chloe found herself laughing at the commentary from Beca that she would normally roll her eyes at. She missed this, and she was glad that at least for the moment, she had it back.

There was a lot of hard work that needed to be done before they could be a better, stronger family but for now Beca was content to just sit here and watch the predictable, romantic ending because sometimes the predictable, romantic ending is just what you need.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Beca, hey, where are you? Are you ready to go?" Chloe called out.

The red head searched the bottom floor of their house. They were supposed to be leaving for dinner at Chloe's parents' house. Their grandparents hadn't seen Eli and Erin in almost a year now, and Chloe had promised to bring them by. Chloe paused momentarily as she came to the door of the spare room, the door was open a crack and the lamp was on.

"Beca, babe, are you in here?" Chloe said softly, opening the door.

"Oh hi, yeah, I'm coming," Beca sniffed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Chloe asked, noticing that the brunette had been crying.

She sat down next to her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her. The red head's face fell when she noticed what her wife was holding. It was a picture of Erin, Eli, Beca and Aubrey at the beach.

"I just came in to turn off the lamp and it had fallen behind the night stand," Beca said, wiping away her tears.

Beca had been working a lot of overtime hours and Aubrey wanted to plan a fun outing for her and the kids. She woke them up early on a Saturday morning and announced that they were going to the beach. Beca taught Erin how to swim while Aubrey made sand castles with Eli. Later in the afternoon Aubrey broke out the camera to take some pictures of Beca with the kids. She had noticed that Beca didn't have very many pictures with her children, and said that she needed some for the mantle. When an elderly lady walked by she insisted that Aubrey get in the photo and remarked about what an adorable family they made.

"Looks fun," Chloe offered, rubbing the brunette's back.

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"You miss her," the red head cut her off, "I know, it's okay. You don't have to come tonight if you're not up to it, I take them myself."

"No, it's a family dinner, I should be there. I've always liked your parents anyway."

This admission brought the smile back to Chloe's face. The two women made their way out of the bedroom and around the corner to the front porch where Erin had been waiting next to the car seat holding her younger brother.

"Are you okay mama?" Erin asked, seeing her mother's bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah baby, I'm good," Beca assured the young girl, picking her up. A good hug from her daughter could do wonders to brighten up Beca's mood, even on her darkest days.

"You excited to go see Grandma and Grandpa?" Chloe asked the child, grabbing the car seat and making her way out the door.

"Yes! We haven't seen them in so long," Erin quipped innocently.

Erin said stuff like this all the time, she had no idea she was rubbing salt in Chloe's wounds. She also talked a lot about the stuff she used to do with Aubrey. This made Chloe and Beca sad; Chloe because it was all the stuff she missed and Beca because it reminded her how bad Aubrey was hurting right now.

"Oh my word, they're so big!" Chloe's mother shouted when she answered the door.

Eli was about 8 months old the last time Chloe's mother had seen him and Erin had just turned 3. Chloe's mother had called Beca a number of times while Chloe was gone, but Beca never picked up the phone. She didn't mean to keep their grandchildren from them, but just the thought of seeing Chloe's parents during that time hurt too much. She found out later that Chloe hadn't even told her parents she left until months after the fact when she showed up with a suitcase on their doorstep. Chloe told Beca how badly her mother chewed her out that night, and again the night before Chloe came back home.

"Hi Mrs. Beale," Beca smiled, leaning in to be hugged by the older woman. She had always liked Chloe's parents, and she was genuinely glad to see the woman again.

Chloe was glad her parents didn't make dinner awkward, just asking general questions like how work was going, or quizzing Erin on her goings on. Beca was happy to let her chatty daughter carry the conversation. She thrilled with them tales of the drama between her dolls and stories about her new friend AJ from down the street.

"He has a shiny blue bike, but it doesn't have ribbons or basket like mine," Erin finished, she had been telling her grandparents about how she could ride a big bike now, but still with the little wheels too.

"That's great Erin, who taught you to ride so well?" her grandfather asked.

"Aubrey," the small red head answered.

"Oh, that's nice," her grandmother started, "she taught your mother how to ride on two wheels when they were in first grade."

Chloe remembered the blonde insisting that the training wheels were for babies and that Chloe needed to know how to ride without them. Bossy but well meaning, that had always been Aubrey. Her mother's story was too much for the red head, all this time she had been hurting about Beca missing Aubrey, she hadn't even realized how much she missed her friend. Their only contact since she left was a text message from Aubrey that read  _what the hell_ to which Chloe never replied. The two women had seen each other virtually every day since they were 4, and now she hadn't seen her best friend since the morning she left her house crying a few months ago.

"How is Aubrey these days anyway, she's a teacher now right?" Chloe's father asked. Chloe's parents had no idea what had gone on during Chloe's absence. No idea that Aubrey had been raising her children, and certainly no idea that Aubrey had fallen in love with Beca.

Beca choked and managed to get out, "yeah she's a teacher," before excusing herself from the table.

 _How are you?_ she typed, her finger hovering over the send button for what seemed like an eternity before she tapped it. She didn't receive a reply, it's not as if she expected to. Beca knew the pain Aubrey was in was unbearable, but she needed to know that she was getting by.

It was 3 am when Beca's phone buzzed.  _Sorry, was out on a date_ was the entirety of the message. Beca didn't know whether to cry because Aubrey was moving on, or be happy that she apparently could. The brunette put down the phone, rolled over and went back to sleep.

"We're going to hit up the park, and then probably go for ice cream, you coming?" Beca asked her wife the next morning.

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm buried in paperwork and stuff for work, I really need to get it done and some quiet time wouldn't hurt. I'll have dinner ready when you get home though, how about that?"

"Sounds great," Beca said, instinctively leaning in to give the red head a kiss goodbye.

Chloe spent the afternoon slugging through the piles of paper work. She had requested a leave of absence when she came home so she could spend more times with the kids, but she had so much to do before she could actually be officially off. When she heard a knock at the door she assumed Beca had forgotten her keys.

"Hey, you're back early, I've haven't even started yet din…" Chloe stopped when she saw who was at the door.

"Au..Aubrey," the red head stuttered, "Beca isn't home, but umm come in."

The blonde stumbled through the door, her inability to walk in a straight line towards the couch and the stench of vodka told Chloe all she needed to know.

"Did you drive here?" Chloe inquired.

"Like you fucking care," the blonde spat.

"Of course I care, you're my friend, I care about you and I don't want you getting hurt."

Aubrey let out a cold laugh, "ha, you have a funny way of showing people you care about them."

"I guess I deserve that. Aubrey I'm sorry, I'm sorry I fucked up my own life and now you're paying for my mistakes, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

Aubrey just ignored her, her now tear filled eyes staring at the fireplace.

"He took his first steps right there," the blonde remembered out loud, "he walked right into my arms. Beca almost tripped over her own feet, trying to grab her phone off the table to catch a video." Aubrey laughed at the memory. It was the most amazing thing she had ever seen, the small boy walking on his own for the first time. Aubrey had no siblings and no cousins she ever saw, Eli and Erin were the first babies she had ever held. They were the only children other than her students that she actually cared about. Chloe just let Aubrey talk, as much as it hurt to hear stories about her children while she was away, she knew her friend needed this.

"They miss you too you know. Erin always talks about things the two of you used to do together, and it kills me to know that my mistake is still hurting her."

"Yeah, well, it was a pretty big fuck up," Aubrey was always a brutally honest drunk.

"Aubrey, I think you should see them. I made the decision to walk away from them, I messed up and if I can, I want to make this hurt everyone involved a little less. It's not helping them any to miss you, and it's certainly not helping you. Keeping you out of our lives isn't going to magically help me fix my marriage, and keeping them out of yours any longer is just cruel."

"I never meant to take your place you know, I was just trying to be there for Beca as a friend, and just trying to take care of those kids, your kids because you were, you are my best friend. I messed up too, getting too attached; I should have left after a few weeks."

"Aubrey, no, you care, you care so much and that's amazing. You stayed because you knew they needed you. I'm glad someone was there for my children when I wasn't, and I'm glad it was someone who loves them as much as you do."

"Do you think we can ever go back?"

"To being friends, yeah, I hope so. I mean we're still friends, we didn't stop being friends, we're just going through a rough patch," the red head confirmed.

"Our rough patches used to be about you not sharing your toys, and I don't think I ever drank a bottle of vodka over you breaking my tea set," Aubrey laughed.

"Do you want some coffee? Beca should be home with the kids soon, it might help you sober up some. I don't think it's the right time for Erin to lean about binge drinking."

"Yeah that would be great; I can call a cab after that and get my car tomorrow morning."

"You should stay for dinner, I'm making…" Chloe scanned the fridge, "okay well I'm probably heating up frozen lasagna, but you should stay. The kids will be thrilled to see you and I know your lunch was liquid."

"You had me at frozen lasagna."

"Chloe, we're home and we don't smell dinner, what gives?" Beca called from the front door.

"Hey, in the kitchen, pre-heating the oven now," the red head laughed.

"Aubrey!" Erin squealed when she saw the blonde at the table, sipping her coffee. She held out her arms to embrace the little girl who was now running full speed ahead.

"Hey babe, how have you been? I've been pretty busy with work, sorry I haven't been around."

"That's okay, people are busy sometimes," the little girl smiled, now sitting happily on Aubrey's lap.

"I knew I recognized the SUV parked poorly out on the street," Beca laughed.

She didn't know why Aubrey was there, but she didn't really care. The smile on her daughter's face when she saw her was enough. Whatever went on this afternoon while she was out must have been good, neither of them was crying and Aubrey was still there.

"Aubrey came by for dinner," Chloe said, winking at her wife which suggested Beca would get to hear the real story later.

"Well, that was nice of her. We love when Aunt Aubrey comes for dinner, don't we buddy?" Beca ruffled her son's hair.

Aubrey smiled at Beca, having her in her life in any capacity was much better than not seeing her at all.

"I'm going to go wash up before dinner, hold him?" Beca asked the blonde, dropping the boy in her arms.

Aubrey tickled the small boy on his chin. She didn't know what was going to happen from here on out, but for now she was content to sit down and enjoy some time with some of the people she cared about most in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"So, my office holiday party is on Saturday," Chloe revealed as they were washing the dishes.

"So?"

"So, will you be my date?"

"You're asking me on a date?" Beca raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Okay well I'll have to get a babysitter for my kids, I have kids you know, I hope that's okay," Beca teased.

"That's cool, I love kids, I've got a couple too," Chloe leaned in and pressed a kiss to the brunette's lips.

"Pick me up at 6?"

"Pick you up at 6," the red head agreed.

"I'm going to head to bed now," Chloe stated a while later when the dishes were finished. It was late and the kids had long since gone to bed themselves.

"Oh, okay, I'll come with you; I'm just going to brush my teeth," Beca had started sleeping back in her own room a few weeks ago, but she almost never joined Chloe when she went to bed. She would sit up in the living room alone, sometimes watching TV, sometimes doing stuff for work but most of the time just thinking.

"Minty fresh!" the brunette declared, climbing into bed.

"Is that an invitation to kiss you?" Chloe teased.

Chloe got her answer when her wife kissed her square on the lips. Her lips were soft and warm, and even though her tongue still tasted of toothpaste, Chloe didn't care, she'd missed that.

"How was your day?" the brunette asked, propping herself up with her arm.

"It was good," Chloe said, laughing, "as good as any day in the finance department can be anyway. How was yours?"

"Good, Greg had a few new bands by the studio looking to book space; more business is always good."

"What's gotten into you tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, don't get me wrong I'm glad to see you happy and even more glad you actually want to talk tonight, but you're unusually peppy tonight."

"I got hit on at work today."

Chloe screwed up her face; this wasn't the answer she was expecting.

"I don't know what to say to that, congratulations I guess."

"No, no, I'm not happy I got hit on. I'm happy because I got hit on and I could say 'sorry, I'm happily married' and actually mean it. I told a total stranger in the lobby all about my wife and our two kids and how I was very happy and not at all interested in going out with him."

"Well in that case, I'm extra glad that you're so happy," Chloe smiled and placed a kiss on her wife's forehead.

"Goodnight Chloe," Beca breathed, turning over.

The red head wrapped her arm around the smaller woman and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Goodnight Beca, I love you."

Once Saturday rolled around Chloe dropped the kids off at her parents' house and made her way back home to pick up Beca. Chloe had been to her last four office functions alone and while she was glad to finally be able to go with Beca again, she hoped the night wouldn't be awkward. Oh so you're back with your wife wasn't her idea of a fun ice breaker.

"Well don't you look beautiful," Chloe said when her wife opened the door.

"Same to you, you ready to head out?"

"Yeah, my purse is in the car already."

"Excellent," Beca locked the door behind her and got in the car.

"We'll say hi to my boss, and then I'll get you a drink, sound good?" Chloe asked, taking her wife's hand.

"Fine with me, glad to know your office has done away with dry parties," the brunette laughed.

"Happy Holidays, Mr. Adams, is Linda with you tonight?"

"Yes, yes, she's over chatting with Jan about some new recipe or another," the man started, "and this is your wife, Beca right?"

Beca stuck out her hand to shake the man's. She had met him a few times before at other office parties, and she knew Chloe liked him. He wasn't your typical stuffy corporate douche, and he always gave the employees a decent bonus this time of year. He was also very understanding and granted Chloe a leave of absence no questions asked.

"Nice to see you again Mr. Adam's," Beca smiled.

"What do you want to drink?" Chloe asked as they made their way toward the bar.

"Just a screw driver, I'm only going to have one, I'll drive tonight if you want."

"I'm good; I actually like my co-workers so I don't need to ply myself with alcohol to hang out with them."

"Whatever floats your boat babe."

"Hey ginger," Beca and Chloe both turn around to face a tall, blonde co-worker of Chloe's.

"Peter, uh, hi."

"Who's your friend?" the man, who was apparently called Peter, winked.

"Peter, this is my  _wife_  Beca, Beca this is Peter, we've been working on a big project."

"Hi," Beca offered, not going in for a handshake.

"Friendly," the man smirked.

"Anyway, we're going to go get some cake, I'll see you on Monday," Chloe said, dismissing the man.

"What's that about, ginger," the brunette teased her wife.

"Oh nothing, Peter just has a thing for me."

"Does he now?"

"Yeah, we went out for coffee a few times but it was nothing."

"You went out for coffee, as in coffee dates?"

"I guess, I don't know, it didn't mean anything though."

"If it didn't mean anything how come you didn't tell me about him?" Beca raised her voice.

"Beca, not here, we can go home and talk about it."

"I don't want to wait, I want to talk now."

"Fine, let's go outside."

The two women made their way down and out through the lobby, past the smokers and out to their car.

"What the hell Chloe, you didn't think it was important to mention that you dated while were split?"

Tears filled the red head's eyes, "Beca I'm sorry, it really was nothing, I didn't even remember until I saw him tonight."

"Really seemed like it was nothing to him, ginger," the playfulness in the brunette's voice earlier had now been drained and replaced with a cold hurt.

"Beca come on, we had coffee, ate terrible pastries and I listened to him bang on about his own achievements. He's an arrogant tool, and I made it clear I wasn't interested in anything further after 3 dates."

"If he wasn't a tool though, you would have kept seeing him?"

"No, Beca, it's not like that. The only reason I agreed to go out with him was because I was lonely. I just wanted someone to talk to, not that he was any good for that."

"You were lonely? You're the one who left your family. Did it occur to you that maybe you'd have someone to talk to if you came home?"

"Of course I did Beca, of course I did. Do you really think I went six months without thinking about you? Without thinking about how much I missed you, how much I wanted to talk to you. I drove home 17 times; 17 times Beca and I couldn't come in the door."

"Why?"

"Because Beca, I couldn't come home until I knew I could stay. I needed to work on myself, and know I was ready to be there for you before I came back into your life. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had."

Beca took a deep breath, "He's really a jerk?"

"The biggest one I've ever met."

"And you promise it was nothing more than coffee?"

"I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole, I swear. You're the only one I want Beca, forever."

Beca wasn't sure why she had snapped her wife. She believed her when she said it was just coffee. She wondered if it was her own guilt about her relationship with Aubrey that sparked the outburst. Chloe never pressed her for details of their time together when she was gone, and it never went past kissing, but still Beca feels like a cheater. Now wasn't the time, but eventually Beca needed to have a serious conversation with Chloe about her feelings for Aubrey.

"Good," Beca walked into her wife's open arms, wrapped her arms around the red head's neck.

"So, are we still happily married?"

"Yeah, yeah we are."

"It's still early, you want to go pick up the kids and watch some silly cartoon Christmas specials?"

"I would love nothing more."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Beca, can you grab the last box of bulbs, I left it on the kitchen table?" Chloe called to her wife.

"Yeah, I'll get it, are they both in there with you?" Beca asked, grabbing the box and making her way to the living room.

"Yes, hurry up; we're all waiting to decorate the tree."

"Okay, okay, I'm here, let's start decorating."

Beca picked Eli up off the floor and took a seat on the couch.

"Hey little man, are you excited for Christmas?" Beca said, ruffling the small boy's hair. Eli smiled up at the brunette and she placed a kiss on his head. Beca was excited for this Christmas, as cute as babies are they aren't exactly good at opening their own presents; it just isn't as cute when you're ripping off all the red and green paper. This year "Santa" was bringing a doll house for Erin and a set of big blocks for Eli. Beca and Chloe also wanted to get them each something special from them. She couldn't wait to see her son's face when he got the teddy bear she had picked out, she knew he would love it from the second she saw it in the store. Beca was never one to enjoy shopping, but there was something about toy shopping for little kids that turned her into a sap.

Beca looked up and she could see Chloe helping Erin put decorations on the tree. She was too little to reach anywhere but the bottom branches, so the red head was spreading the decorations out.

"Good job sweetheart, it looks beautiful," Chloe encouraged her.

"Yes, very nice. I especially like this one," Beca pointed to a decoration that Erin had made in pre-school.

"I made it!" Erin squealed.

"I know, I really like it, it's so pretty and glittery."

"Do you want to put something on the tree buddy?" Chloe asked the small boy in Beca's arms, handing him a bulb, making sure that Beca had her hand under the decoration as a precaution.

After a few more minutes of arranging the decorations the two women stood back to admire the finished product.

"You guys did such a good job, who wants some chocolate to celebrate?"

"Wait Beca, we still have to put the star on top."

"Well don't look at me, I certainly can't reach it. Why don't you lift Erin up and she can do it?"

"Can I mama, can I?"

"Yes, but you have to be careful okay. It's very fragile, okay?"

"What's that word mean?" Erin inquired.

"It means it can break very easily," Beca informed her little girl.

"Oh, okay, I will hold on tight."

When Erin had finished placing the star atop the tall tree Beca made her way to the kitchen, she grabbed a plate and put on some cookies and pieces of chocolate.

"You want any coffee or tea Chloe?" the brunette called from the kitchen.

"Tea would be nice, do you need any help?"

"No, I'll be out in a few."

Beca glanced at her phone as she waited for the kettle to boil. Her how are you text message to Aubrey was still unanswered. The blonde had been around to see the kids, but she and Beca hadn't talked much lately. Aubrey was always too busy for coffee, or out on a date. It bothered Beca that the fact that Aubrey was dating so much got under her skin. She shouldn't care what the blonde was doing in her spare time, and she should be happy that she wasn't moping around anymore. She's happy, Aubrey's happy, what's the problem. Beca couldn't help but feel their relationship was stuck, a mix of unanswered questions and unsaid feelings.

"Your tea," Beca said, handing Chloe the mug, "its peppermint, I figured that was appropriate.

"Thanks babe," Chloe kissed her wife on the lips, before blowing on the hot liquid.

"Cookies," Erin shouted as Beca placed the tray down the table.

"Since you decorated the tree so nicely you can have two," Chloe informed the excited little girl.

"Sweet, Frosty is on," Beca announced as she flipped through the channels.

Chloe just smirked; she knew her wife had a soft spot for anything Christmas related. She told Chloe early in their relationship that it was one of the few times that her parents would cease the yelling and actual be civil when she was growing up.

"Oh no, Frosty is going to melt!" Erin cried.

"Aww, come here baby, Frosty will be okay," Chloe wrapped her arms around the little girl and pulled her up onto her lap.

"Hey, don't spoil the ending," Beca teased.

After a few more Christmas specials, Eli was asleep on Beca's lap and Erin was starting to yawn.

"I think it's time for two little elves to get to bed," Chloe whispered to her wife.

"Yeah," Beca picked her son up gently, not wanting to wake him.

When Eli was down in his crib Beca closed the door gently, and made her way to her daughter's room where Chloe was reading a story.

"And that's how the little duckling made a new friend," the red head finished.

"Goodnight Erin," Beca said, leaning down to give her daughter a hug goodnight.

"See you in the morning sweetie, we can go to the store and pick out presents for your cousins," Chloe added.

"She wanted the one about the duckling again?" Beca asked, shutting the door.

"Yeah, she loves that one; I think I've read it every night this week."

"Do you think I cheated on you?" Beca asked suddenly, once they were sitting back in the living room.

"What?"

"With Aubrey, do you think I cheated on you?"

"I…uh, I, umm, why do you ask?"

"The other night, when I got upset about that Peter guy from your work, it was because I thought you cheated on me. Then I realized, I did worse to you and I just, I don't know how to feel."

"You never really told me what went on with Aubrey, and no I don't think you cheated on me. I left and gave you no indication that I was ever coming back. I think you did what you needed to get by. But if you're having conflicting feelings, you need to talk to me."

"It's just that I loved her, or I love her or something. The day you came back, I just threw her out and never resolved whatever it was that we had between us. And I love you, don't get me wrong, and I am happy, or at least what I think is happy but I can't help but wonder about her. Every time she tells me she's out on yet another date, I don't know how to feel and I just shouldn't feel like this. It's so confusing."

Chloe took a deep breath, taking in all that her wife had just said. She knew there was more than friendship between Beca and Aubrey when she returned, but she had no idea her wife still felt this way. They talked about how Chloe was feeling when she was gone, but Beca never talked about her own experience in those six months.

"Beca, I never said anything before because I figured it wasn't my place. I left, I was the one who left you alone and hurting, and that's on me but how you feel now and what you do about it, that's on you. I've been back for four months now and we're together, so I deserve to know how you feel about us. You say you love me, but you can't stop thinking about her, how is that supposed to make me feel? You need to do what you need to do to figure out how you really feel Beca, you owe that to me, to Aubrey and to yourself. Talk to her, do something; just don't keep pretending that everything is okay if it's not."

Just as Chloe finished her speech the phone in their kitchen began to ring. Who would be calling this late the brunette wondered.

"I got it," Chloe said, getting up off the couch, leaving Beca with her thoughts.

"Hello, yes, this is Chloe….oh my god…okay…we'll be right there," the red head hung up the phone.

"Who was," Beca started as she walked into the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the look in her wife's eyes.

"It's, it's Aubrey; she was struck driving through the intersection on the way home from her date."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Can you tell us where Aubrey Posen is?" Chloe asked the women behind the front desk.

After receiving the phone call from Aubrey's mother, Beca and Chloe woke up their sleeping children and headed to the hospital immediately. Her mother had been frantic on the phone, and had very little information. They had no idea what condition their friend was in, or even if she was still alive. All they knew was it was dark, and the weather was poor and a car had slammed into the blonde's blue SUV.

"Ms. Posen is still in surgery ladies, if you're not family I can't tell you much more than that. I believe her parents are in the waiting room around the corner though," the clerk was stern, yet sympathetic.

They made their way around the corner, spotting Mr. and Mrs. Posen in the waiting room, just as the woman said.

"Mr. and Mrs. Posen, I'm so sorry," Chloe managed, choking back tears.

"Chloe, Beca," Mr. Posen acknowledge them, "Aubrey will appreciate you being here. She's still in surgery but they said they would tell us the second she gets out."

Chloe and Beca took a seat next to the Posens. Eli and Erin had fallen back to sleep on the ride over. Beca placed Eli's car seat in the seat next to hear, and Erin slept across her mothers' laps. Time dragged on slowly; even minute they waited for the doctors felt like hours. No one in the waiting room talked, but the hospital itself was alive with noise; loud beeping, pain screams and shouted orders could be heard all around. Beca was surprised the kids slept as long as they did, but she figured they were tired after a long day.

It was 3 am when the doctor finally came out to talk to Aubrey's parents. The blonde sustained some serious injuries, but was stable for the time being. They doctor gave details on Aubrey's injuries to her father but Beca was too upset to listen. She couldn't stand to hear about her cracked ribs or possible damage to her spine.

"You can all see her in about an hour," the doctor finished.

Beca had managed to gather that she was lucky to not sustain any severe trauma to her head, and thus would be probably be conscious once the anesthesia wore off.

"Where are we?" Erin asked, yawning.

"The hospital baby, Auntie Aubrey was hurt, but she's okay now, we're just here to see her okay?"

The small girl nodded at Chloe's words, now sitting upright in her lap.

"I'll call my father in a few hours to come get them," Beca suggested, "I think Aubrey would like to see them first though."

Chloe nodded in agreement, "I can't believe he's still asleep," she said, gesturing towards Eli.

"He's always been a sound sleeper, I think we could take him to monster truck rally no problem."

The brunette smiled at her wife, for the first time since arriving at the hospital. Just then the doctor turned the corner.

"She's awake if you all would like to see her now. Just be aware that she's on a lot of pain medication."

"Thank you doctor," Mr. Posen said.

"I'll take you there now," the doctor informed the four worried looking adults.

"Chloe, if you don't mind my wife and I would like to see her first and then you all can go in and visit with her. She might be too excited to see the kids to talk to dear old dad," the man joked.

Beca and Chloe waited in the hall way as Aubrey's parents went in to visit with their daughter. Eli had woken up when Beca had picked up the car seat. She was amazed at how he could apparently sleep through a Metallica concert, but if you so much as moved him an inch he was wide awake.

"Don't cry buddy, it's okay, I know you're not a morning person," Beca cooed, bouncing the boy up and down and rubbing his back. He wasn't even two yet but he was so much like Beca already, right down to the crankiness in the morning.

Twenty minutes passed and Aubrey's father emerged from her room.

"The wife and I are going to go home and get some sleep. I unfortunately still have to go to work in a few hours, but Doctor Adams assured us that she's in good hands. We'll be back later to see her, take good care of her will you?" Mr. Posen asked, as Aubrey's mother also exited her daughter's room.

"We will sir, try and have a good day. I'll call you if anything comes up okay," Chloe assured the man.

She had known Aubrey since childhood and was close with her parents. She knew the only reason they would dare leave her side was because she was there.

"Aubrey," the red head said softly, poking her head through the girl's hospital room door, "are you up for some company?"

Aubrey waved her in, and Chloe, Beca and their two children made their way into their friends' room.

"Erin!" Aubrey said, still groggy from the medication.

"Would you like a hug?" the little girl asked.

"I would love one, I'm so happy to see my favourite people."

The blonde gestured for Chloe to put Erin down on her right side, the car having impacted on her left.

"How are you feeling?" Chloe questioned her friend.

"Like I got hit by a car," Aubrey laughed, it was so unlike the blonde to laugh in such a high stress situation but I guess the fact that she could laugh was reassuring. "Pretty much everything hurts, but the medication does a good job at numbing the pain. The doctor said I got lucky with the way the other car hit mine, can you imagine that, getting hit in a good way."

"What happened?" Beca piped up suddenly.

"I don't really know. I left the restaurant and I was about five minutes from home. I had a green light and was almost through the light. It was really loud and then I woke up on a stretcher, and everything was really loud in the ER. Then they put me out for surgery, and now I'm here, thankfully."

"Yes, thankfully you are," Chloe now joined her daughter in hugging the blonde.

"Did he say how long you'd have to stick around this joint?" Beca asked, still standing in the corner of the room with Eli.

"A few more days at least; he said I should be able to go home in time for Christmas though, lucky and all that jazz," Aubrey informed them.

"If we're asking too many questions just tell us to shut up, okay?" Chloe said, before asking yet another questions, "Can you walk?"

"Dr. Adams tested earlier, and I could feel my toes and legs and everything. I guess I really did get lucky," Aubrey let out a sigh of relief, "I appreciate your concern by the way; feel free to keep asking."

"Do you need anything? I was going to call my dad and ask him to take the kids today; I can get him to pick you something up on the way."

"Actually I think I'm good for now, the nurse is going to bring me some delightful hospital food, and everyone I love has already been here to see me, so I'm good," Aubrey said, content.

"Beca, can I talk to you in the hall?" Chloe asked, suddenly.

"Umm, sure," the brunette started, "Erin, keep Aubrey company okay, why don't you tell her about Frosty?"

"Okay mama."

"I think I'm going to take the kids home okay, no need to bother your dad so early. I'll go home with them; we can all get some sleep and maybe come back later. You stay here with here, talk, and keep her company," Chloe said, once they were in the hall.

"Are you sure, I'm sure my father won't mind, you can stay too, she's your friend."

"Come on Beca, you need to sort yourself out, and I've seen her now, I know she's okay, that's good enough for me. The kids are tired; just let me take them home. See you later?"

"Okay," Beca relented, knowing what Chloe said was true. Now more than even she needed to talk to Aubrey about how she feels.

"Come on Erin, you can tell Aubrey more about your awesome tea party later, she needs her rest, and so do you. You, Eli and I are going to go home now, okay. Give Aubrey a hug goodbye, we'll come back and see her again."

"Bye, feel better," Erin said, reaching up to give the blonde a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you sweetie, I'll see you later," Aubrey told her, giving the small girl a kiss on the head.

Chloe left the room with her two kids and made her way out to the car. She hated to know what would come of Beca and Aubrey's conversation, but she knew it needed to happen. If Beca still loved and wanted to be with her friend, there was nothing she could do about it and to compound matters further, it was all her fault. She kept her cool for the kids, but her worst fears had been realized that day when she walked back into her house to find her wife in the arms of someone else. She knew her kids would still love her, but in all those months away she feared that Beca would move on, and right now that was a very real possibility.

"You should go too Beca, you look like you could use some rest too," Aubrey said when the red head had left the room.

"I'm fine and I'm not about to leave you here alone after you've just been in an accident."

"There are plenty of doctors and nurses around Beca, I'll be fine and my parents will be back later."

"Do you not want me here?" Beca asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

"Of course I want you here, I just think you look tired and I will be fine alone."

"Well I'm staying, so make some room," Beca said, climbing onto Aubrey's bed, being sure to keep to her right side.

"So I'm guessing you didn't stay just to keep me company," Aubrey asked.

"We need to talk Aubrey; we can't keep going on like nothing happened. I kicked you out of my house after 6 months, less than 24 hours after I told you that you should stay and we haven't really talked about it since."

"There hasn't really been a good time Beca, I didn't really think to bring it up in front of your kids, or your wife who does happen to be my best friend."

"I know, and I'm sorry, I should have made time to talk to you about it sooner. I was so focused on what was best for the kids that I never stopped to think about what I really wanted."

"Yeah well, I haven't exactly made myself available; I think I've been out on a date every other night for the past month."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

Beca couldn't talk anymore; she had never been good at expressing her feelings. She leaned over ever so slightly and her lips met the blonde's. When she pulled away, Aubrey began to laugh hysterically.

"Kissing me is funny now?" Beca must have looked incredulous, because Aubrey stopped immediately.

"Sorry Beca, it's just that I've spent months wanting to do that again. I've spent most of my dates thinking about you. Then, a few weeks ago I went out with this gorgeous guy, tall, dark hair and green eyes, very soap opera handsome. For once I didn't spend the entire time thinking about my best friend's wife. I actually had a good time. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to stay is I didn't feel anything just now, not that you're not still a good kisser," the blonde added the last part to take the sting out of her revelation.

"Okay, good."

"Good?" Aubrey raised her eyebrow now.

"Good, because I didn't feel anything either and all I could think of was Chloe."

"Because she's the one you love Beca. You've always loved her; I think you've probably loved her since the day she walked in on you in the shower. You told me once that she took your breath away, and she still does. You just went through a rough patch. She left and it hurt, she made a mistake that could have done irreparable damage but it didn't, because you love her so much that you've been able to forgive her and slowly but surely let her back into your heart. Beca, I think what we had were moments of passion collide with moments of weakness. We were both hurting, and we found comfort in each other, but we don't need that comfort anymore. I was there when you needed me, but now you need to be there with her. I will always love you as a friend though Beca Mitchell," Aubrey placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead.

"And I will always love you as a friend Aubrey Posen," the brunette hugged the other woman gently.

"I think you should go home to your wife now Beca."

"Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to call someone to come and sit with you?"

"Actually yes, can you call David, he's in my phone."

"David?" the brunette inquired.

"The aforementioned tall, dark and handsome man; also known as my new boyfriend," the blonde smiled.

"Oh," Beca said, grabbing her friend's phone.

"Yeah, I was out with him last night before the accident. Its Saturday so he'll just be at home, we were going to do something again tonight. I know it's early but I think he'd like to know."

Beca dialled David's number, and waited for an answer, "Aubrey?" came the voice on the other end.

"Actually this is her friend Beca, I know it's early, but Aubrey's been in a car accident. She's okay, but she's up for visitors if you'd like to come by."

Beca hung up the phone after giving the stranger the details of his girlfriend's location.

"He's coming right now, I'll wait with you until he gets here, I'd like to see this soap opera good looking dude," Beca laughed.

It was just fifteen minutes later when the tall man with green eyes arrived at Aubrey's door. Beca figured he either lived really close to the hospital, or he was prepared to get a speeding ticket.

"Aubrey, hey, are you okay?" the man asked, ignoring Beca's presence at first.

"I'm feeling better now that you're here," she replied coyly.

David placed a kiss on the blonde's head and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Thanks for keeping her company," he said finally.

"No problem, we're good friends," she smiled, "I'll see you later Aubrey, call if you need anything but it looks like you'll be just fine."

"Thanks Beca, see you later, tell Chloe I'm okay," she called as the brunette exited the room.

Chloe had taken the car home, so Beca hopped in a cab. It was probably better that she didn't drive at this point, she was so tired she was about to drop.

She fumbled with her keys in the lock and was grateful when Chloe finally opened the door.

"You're home," she said.

"I'm home," Beca confirmed, "home for good."

"You talked to…"

Beca cut her off, "I love you Chloe and only you and I need you to know that. You were figuring things out for yourself while you were gone, but when you came back that's when I started having uncertainties. All for naught though because I love you, it's always been you. You hurt me, and I hurt you and now I just want us to stop hurting each other and enjoy our life together, because let's be honest, it's awesome."

"I love you too Beca, and I agree, our life together is awesome and I look forward to the rest of it."

Beca slammed the door shut, putting an arm around her wife's neck and kissing her.

"Now, I think I'm going to pass out, care to come to bed with me?"

"I would love to."

Chloe took her wife's hand and followed her to the bedroom. She had everything she ever thought she'd love, and she was never letting it go again.


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**3 Years Later**

"Hey, come in, come in, thanks for coming," Aubrey welcomed her friends to her home.

"Hey, can you believe she's a year old already?" Chloe asked.

The last 3 years had been busy for the blonde. 6 months after her accident David had proposed, and 6 months after that they were married. A few months later Aubrey told them of her pregnancy and today they were there to celebrate little Bailey's first birthday.

"Don't remind me, I can't believe my how fast she's growing up," Aubrey pouted.

"Tell me about it, Erin is almost taller than Beca and she's only 7," Chloe said, smirking at her wife.

"Hey, she's not that tall," Beca defended, resting her arm on her daughter's head to prove her point.

"Can we go play now?" Eli asked, pulling on Chloe's dress.

"Yes, yes, go on out back, just be careful," the red head warned the boy.

"Hey ladies," David started as he came down the stairs, "oh and gentlemen, sorry little man I didn't see you there," he added, addressing the baby in Beca's arms.

"He's getting big too, huh; he's what 4 months now?"

"Yeah, just about," Beca confirmed.

"Can I get you ladies anything to drink? You can make you way out the backyard and I'll bring it out," David offered.

"That would be great babe, thank you, I'll have coffee," Aubrey kissed her husband on the cheek and made her way to the backyard with her friends not far behind.

In the backyard Aubrey had gathered some of her fellow teacher friends with kids, her parents as well as David's, and David's siblings and their children.

"So where is the birthday girl anyway?" Beca asked as she took a seat around the table in the backyard.

"Napping actually, she was so tired and cranky we put her down for a bit," Aubrey informed them.

"Aww, she'll feel better once she opens some presents and gets some cake," Chloe laughed.

"Yeah, I think I'll go see how she is."

"I'll go, here, enjoy your coffee," David came through the patio doors and laid a tray with coffee, tea, cream and sugar on the table.

When the tall man returned he was carrying his daughter, now dressed in a fluffy pink party dress that Beca knew was all Aubrey's doing. He dropped the little girl in her mother's lap before taking the seat next to her.

"Hey baby girl, did you have a good nap sweetie?" Aubrey asked the child rhetorically, placing a kiss on her head.

"That dress is so cute Aubrey; makes me nostalgic for when Erin was a baby, god have mercy on your soul if you try and get that one into a dress now."

Beca laughed at her wife's revelation. It was the truth that Erin hated dresses, at least for the time being. Beca always told her children are fickle.

"You want to open some presents Bailey?" David asked her, tickling her chin.

David passed the small child each present; Aubrey would read the card and then help her daughter rip off the paper or the tissue paper. She received a wide variety of toys from her relatives, and a handful of adorable outfits.

"Aww this card is so sweet," Aubrey started pointing out the kitties on the front, "Happy Birthday Bailey, love Beca, Chloe, Erin, Elias and baby Elliott." The signatures at the bottom were scrawled in crayon by their young children.

"That's us," Eli said.

"She knows man, she just read that," Erin rolled her eyes. She was only 7 but already exhibited Beca's attitude.

"Thank you guys, I'm sure she will love it," Aubrey said. They had gotten the little girl a few outfits, picked out by Erin and Chloe, a teddy bear from Eli and a mix CD of children's songs made by Beca.

Erin and Eli both gave the birthday girl a hug, and each received a kiss on the head from Aubrey.

"Who wants cake?" David asked, once all the presents had been opened.

"We figured she'd get enough gifts and clothes and stuff from friends and family, so we decided to take a big chunk of money and add it to her college fund for her birthday. She won't remember this anyway, and I figure she'll thank us when she can get an education debt free, hopefully," Aubrey told her friends.

"That's actually a great idea, figures always planning ahead Aubrey would come up with that," Chloe teased.

"It was actually David's idea, I just happened to agree that it made sense."

"Oh geez, you two really are a perfect match," Beca smirked.

Beca knew David was the one for Aubrey when he invited her to move in after 3 months and his house was just as well organized and pristinely clean as Aubrey's condo had been. Her jaw dropped when he she realized Aubrey wasn't the only one who organized her spices alphabetically. Marry him, marry him now she remembered telling her friend.

Moments later David returned with a chocolate cake with pink frosting, Happy 1st Birthday Bailey scrawled across it in purple icing, 1 lone candle sitting in the centre. Friends and family of the couple sung to the little girl. After a few seconds of David blew out the candle for Bailey, and cut the cake.

"Mmm chocolate," Erin said.

"Yeah, I ordered your favourite kind; I figured Bailey would probably like it too," Aubrey revealed, ruffling Erin's hair, "you want to hold her while she eats her cake? I want to take some pictures."

Aubrey placed the little girl in the chair with Erin and grabbed her camera. She took several pictures of her friends, family, nephews and nieces, all enjoying their cake and chatting excitedly.

"Hey Beca, lean in closer with Elliott, I want to get all our kids in this shot."

"Adorable," Chloe said, taking a close look at the photo on Aubrey's phone.

"Yeah they are, aren't they?"


End file.
